Which came first, the chicken or...

I can't answer the age old question, nor can I answer who's bright idea it was to try eating that weird little thing that the chicken left behind. Nevertheless, the world is greatful.

You'd be hard pressed to come up with an ingredient that's more versatile. Off the top of my head, we have...

Scrambled
French Omelete
"Normal" Omelete
Frittata
Sunny-side up
Over light/easy/medium/hard
Quiche
Hard/Soft/Medium Boiled
Coddled

... and that is just a short list of ways that eggs alone can be cooked. Add in a few other ingredients and you have one of the greatest things ever made - custard. But that's a story of its own. Baked goods wouldn't be the same without eggs, and without it's emulsifying power mayonaisse (the real stuff, now) wouldn't ... well... exist.

So what is an egg, really? There are a suprising amount of layers to something that to many is just a quick breakfast. The key is to remember that, given fertilization, it's going to grow into a chicken. This explains why there's so much protection going on.

If you get a fresh egg (and I mean right out of the chicken fresh) there will be an outer membrane coating the shell. This is removed for commercial sale. The shell itself is actually really durable. I've heard that it's impossible to break an egg by squeezing it in your hand (before you try this at home, this doesn't work if you squeeze against the sides... it only takes the pressure if applied against the top and bottom). Now I have seen first hand that it takes something like 25 lbs (in the form of bench press weights) to crush an egg (again, with the egg standing up). The shell is porous enough to allow air in, but will keep out bacteria. Yes, this means that salmonella is at least originally found on the outside of eggs. Washing them before use can help you there, but so can proper cracking (keep going).

Inside is an air pocket, which happens to be a good way to tell how old an egg is. Young eggs have a smaller air pocket. On some older eggs you can hear the insides rattling around if you shake the egg (plenty of spare room). Also, older eggs can sometimes float in water if the air pocket is big enough (you know, because air is lighter than water and all that).

Just on the inside of the shell is another membrane. You've probably seen this before. A lot of times a piece of the shell will break off and the membrane will tear free, leaving you with a limp, dangly, membrane-y thing hanging off. More protection for the little chicky-to-be (well, in theory) inside.

Next up we have the albumen, more commonly called the white. There are actually two parts, the thick and thin albumen. You'll need a fresh egg to tell the difference (AA being the freshest, which will degrade to the next stage, A, in about a week... next up is B, and it'll stay like that for much longer than you should feasibly have the same carton of eggs in your refrigerator). The thick albumen is closer to the yolk and will stand up a bit more than the thin albumen, leaving you with a discernible separation between the two. On older eggs these simply run together (and hardcore egg cooks may be wanting to tell you that at that point, they're only good for scrambling).
The albumen is the good-for-you part when it comes to eating. Lots of good proteins, no fat... it's great. All-white egg applications, however, will dry out and overcook easily, so if you're going that route be sure to watch the heat and your eggs carefully.

There's a special part of the albumen (two parts, actually) called the chalazae. These are those little strandlike parts that hold the yolk in place (especially easy to pick out of the egg is scrambled, since they won't break up with the rest).

Next up is the yolk (which is surrounded by its own membrane). All the fat and cholesterol that a growing chicken needs. Yum. All the cholesterol that a growing (or grown) human needs... well, close. Two egg yolks will give you more than your recommended daily allotment of cholestrol (remember, we make enough on our own).

So that's an egg in a nutshell... or may an eggshell... or maybe I'll just stop with the bad puns. Either way, now that you've got the gist of what makes an egg, let's get to a few tips on how to use them.

Time to get cracking... literally. Sorry, I'm really done this time.
There is a right way and a wrong way to crack an egg. Unfortunately it seems that lots of people learn the wrong way and pass it on.
The wrong way is to crack the egg against the edge of the bowl, or any sort of corner or corner-like thing. This causes a jagged break which often drives bits of shell inward along with the side of the bowl. This is bad for a number of reasons.

Like I said before, salmonella starts on the outside. Ground beef is the most dangerous because meat is the same way - bacteria and such sits on the exterior. With a steak, you sear the outside and it's all killed. With ground beef, what used to be the outside (and in truth, the outside of about 100 or so different animals) is now all mixed in.

Nasty foodborne illness aside, no one likes bits of shell in their egg (at least no one that I've ever met). Save yourself the time of scraping all of those little pieces out. Plus, good old fashioned dirt and grime can get inside too, not just foodborne illnesses.

Another bad thing - all of those membranes keeping the egg together are pretty easy to break. Bits of shell, or even just the edge of that bowl, can jab through and break the yolk open. Not fun when you're trying to fry an egg with a nice round yolk in the middle.

So enough about that, what's the right way? Crack it on a nice clean flat surface. If you're lucky, one or two quick taps will give you a clean crack all the way around and the egg will practially fall out on its own. If not, rotate the egg a bit and give it another go. It'll separate easily enough. This method gives you a nice clean break. No bits of shell going everywhere, no broken membranes. Just a nice, beautiful egg falling into the pan.

As for actual cooking, there are a few things to keep in mind.

First off, as with anything, residual heat is going to continue cooking even once the egg is out of the pan. If it looks done in the pan, it's going to be overcooked by the time you eat it (especially true if said cook is waiting on a server to pick it up and bring it to you). You want it to be a bit underdone, a tad juicy in the pan. It'll finish up on its own.

You don't need much fat in the pan. Just a tad to keep it from sticking (and given that the only good use for a non-stick pan is egg cookery, you should be using one of those too). Properly high heat will help with this as well. Especially for omeletes, heat will help the egg release from the pan for a good clean flip.

There's a bit on eggs... and I do mean just a bit. There is a ridiculous amount of ways that eggs can be prepared and still be considered a true egg dish. This is before you get into the rest of its culinary applications. I'll have to save that for later, though. As it is, you've got something to think about the next time you crack open an egg.